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Archive - April, 2009

Separation Anxiety

“My red is coming out!!!!” Toby yells. His alarm is always disproportionate to the actual trauma, so I have no idea if its a hangnail or a severed arm when he summons my highly qualified medical self to come rescue him. I nonchalantly grab a napkin and take it to the living room where he and Greg have all 87 parts of a ceiling fan sprawled out on the floor. Toby is sobbing and flipping me the bird. Well, not the actual bird, but he is sobbing and pointing my way with his injured middle finger.

“Is it a paper cut?” I ask because I forgot my go-go-gadget magnifier for microbooboo locating. “Mo-o-o-omm-y-y” he opens his mouth into such a wide cry that his lips barely reconnect for the m’s. “I think your gonna make it buddy,” I say. Greg returns to his screwdriverish super-project while I rinse Toby’s finger in the kitchen sink.

Our underconcern makes him anxious– as if some day he will puncture an artery or catch on fire and his parents might keep on weed-eating or browning turkey meat while he bleeds to death on the kitchen tile.

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What I Couldn’t Say

Greg and I have important stuff to talk about. Probably. We are sitting at the kitchen table over tilapia, each of us throwing conversational paintballs in the vague vicinity of the other. Toby is sitting next to me unable to finish his nuggets because he “really needs to poop.” Charlie’s nuggets are squished into pancakes and one by one sailing down to the underchair netherworld where I don’t even clean anymore.

“I mean it seems like a good idea, you know?” Greg says, but I don’t know, because I have no clue what the idea was.

“Tell me what we are talking about again?” I say.

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The Running Mama Rules

It has been almost three years since my first run with Jerri. In that time…

We have covered more miles than lie between Houston and New York City.

We have talked over 500 hours.

We have resolved the following issues: the best school for Jerri’s girls to attend, the name of my second son, what we want to be when we grow up (Jerri=esthetician, Andi=writer), how to hide vegetables in non-yucky food, a color for my living room walls, what to buy our husbands for Christmas, how long one can run while pregnant (20 weeks until your back gives out!), our hormone imbalances, the best discipline techniques at every age level (up to ten anyway…), and of course our God, how He is the center, the everything, even when we just don’t get Him at all.

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